We recall Bend It Like Beckham (2002), an indie darling about football, friendship, and family. We learn important lessons like teens can't trap you if you're outside, key fobs are the cigarettes of the early 2000s, and fish are dreams.

We recall The Maltese Falcon (1941), a film noir where detective Sam Spade and friends(?) try to get their hands on a dingus a.k.a. a valuable black bird statuette. No feelings are felt, we crack foxy, and immediately forget what "garbage lady" means.

We recall Xanadu (1980), a musical on roller skates featuring Oliva Newton-John and Gene Kelly. Sean Connery is not in this movie, but he is heavily featured in this episode.

We recall My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002), a romantic comedy that heavily features Windex. We discuss painter's tape, wiping down ankles, and Molly and the Dans fight. Plus, we ask: where did he keep the ring?

We recall Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991), a film that's less about babysitters and more about a teen having to navigate corporate America. We discuss creeps, taxes, and grunions. Plus, the Dans attempt their best "Australian" "accents."

We recall Demolition Man (1993), an action movie featuring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, and a city full of that guys. Dan is sick, Beth is confused by the rules, but mostly we discuss future toilets.